current mood

Today was my daughter’s, Miss Masterpiece, aka Lexi, first day of school.  She started her Junior year in high school 100% remotely.  I am a bag of mixed emotions.  I don’t know what to think or how to feel, but deep down inside I am trying to remain positive through it all, for her, for me, for our family, for everybody.  Here is the traditional first day of school picture for 2020:

This is what the first day of school looks like during a global pandemic I guess.  No pretty hair do.  No perfect make-up.  No honorary cheer uniform for the first day.  No brand new shoes (no shoes at all for that matter).  No new back pack.  All these things might seem frivolous out of context but they involve her friends and social circle, which she barely sees anymore.  I feel like the current situation is causing a shift.  This is what the first day of school looked like last year.

Today she sat in her room, alone most of the day in front of a computer interacting with her teachers and classmates through a screen.  She’s happy with her classes and teachers and for that I am thankful.  She did not experience any technological issues and for that we are blessed.  I know everyone is going through the same experiences, but I just worry about the long term effect this will all have on this generation.

Society already relies on all our devices way too much and these kids have way too much screen time personally and now they will spend all their school hours behind a screen.  This worries me for our children’s health, physically and mentally.  Our kids should be walking down hallways, bumping into classmates and talking to their teachers one on one.  I know there are reasons why the situation is the way it is but it does not prevent me from worrying and wondering.

Instead of receiving a printed syllabus and textbook in class today she received links to documents she needs to print and textbooks will be picked up in a couple of weeks at the school where social distancing will be controlled.  I cannot even image what Back to School Night will even look like for us.  It will be conducted virtually obviously but I am guessing I will not get to “meet” her teachers.  Time will tell.  I think one of the biggest issues I am having is the lack of control.  It is all so new and foreign for everyone involved plus not really knowing what the next step, phase, stage, whatever will look like either.

Fall is my favorite season and one of the main reasons was going back to school.  I loved going to school for the academic aspect, for the social aspect, for the emotional aspect and I feel like our kids are now being robbed of those experiences.  I pray we figure this out as a society soon and prioritize the greatest good for everyone.  I do not think our new normal will ever be life as we knew it but any kind of normalcy will be welcomed.  

I pray that in due time this will pass. I hope it will be sooner rather later.  I trust in His Grace that we will come out of this better for it.  Lexi is my youngest, she is my baby and I only wish for her to remain her happy and healthy self.

“Stars can’t shine without darkness”

~D.H. Sidebottom~